Daylight and Sun

I am moving back to Seattle next week. Nervous and excited!
Vegas was good fun - Weight was gained but I am back and fighting stronger than I have in a long time.

Life is back in movement.

You Know

today was beautiful.
i am stressed right now.
food would numb for a bit but i am staying strong.

Wait It Out

The number continues to go down. Consistently healthy days. Do not know how many now which is a good thing. No charts or countdowns. No restrictions. Just focusing on life and the people in it.

But you know… All these words have been written before. All I can say is that today was a good one and I hope I can say the same for tomorrow.

Bullet

Through A Forest Pitch Dark…

I know that I will never go back to where I came from. My mind will never be in that dark place where it rested for all those horrible years. And though I take comfort in knowing this, it is still hard to try and balance the disfunction that still exists in my life. Food obsession, anxiety. binge eating disorder, co-dependence, and beyond. It is exhausting when all I strive for is a simple, healthy life where I can focus on wonderful people around me and all I have been blessed with rather that preoccupying my time, dwelling on what I ate today and what I am going to eat tomorrow.

I am going to watch this number shrink. I am ashamed of the weight I have gained.